would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
