Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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