Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The air taste purple.
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