So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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