Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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