were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
