I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
