He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
