that's an acceptable place to lick
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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