She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
