She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
