You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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