dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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