so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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