Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
