Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
