I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize