How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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