K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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