you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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