have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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