Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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