that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
