Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
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It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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