Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
