im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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