How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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