Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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