My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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