well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Who wears a wallet chain?!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
