help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
