I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
