Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
