Why is your signature on my underwear?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just want to make out with him forever
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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