pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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