I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
