the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
