I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
