Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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