After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We're too hungover to prance.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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