i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize