He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My dad just said "fuck circus"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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