dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
