The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
