Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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