He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you win again, gameday.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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