guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
