Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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