I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize