i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my shit smells like andre
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
