i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
