VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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