All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
