Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize