You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
COCAINE IS GR8
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
