What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
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i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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