Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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