please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
