i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize