You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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