I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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