why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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