Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The uberlube is also flammable
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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