idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
