he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
