Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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