I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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