you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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