who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
