You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize