Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
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Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
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He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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